King of Losing Things, Bake Me a Cake
by CielDeMinuit
Summary: Just a little drabble about Arthur as he makes a cake for Kiku's birthday. I didn't write this for Japan's birthday by the way, it's just a coincidence that his passed a while ago.


Idea taken from the Hetalia Wikia, which states that England is apparently "the king of losing things."

Like hell I own Hetalia. Moving on~

* * *

"Bloody hell, where is it...?"

Arthur pushed a small box, peeking behind it.

"Nope, not here...not here either..."

He pulled the lids off of a few canisters of tea leaves, mixing around the dried substance with a spoon. Pausing, he lifted his head, looking straight.

"Why...would it be in here...?"

He shook his head, turning over a few piles of Earl Gray one last time before closing it and putting it back with the rest.

The Brit was looking for an ingredient. Kiku, a friend of his, had a birthday approaching soon, and Arthur intended to make an amazingly scrummy cake in celebration. Now if only he could find the most important part...

The door to the pantry swung open, and he rummaged through it's contents. Shoving away a bag of Twiglets, knocking over a box of Jelly Babies, and what is this...blackcurrant preserves? He set the jar on top of a small shelf and kept looking. Not here either...

He shut the door, wondering if he was going barmy.

"I did buy it...didn't I?" Arthur mused to himself, moving his search to the living room. If it wasn't in the kitchen, it had to be here, right?

Flipping cushions on the sofa, searching 'round the telly, there was just no sign of the damned thing!

He was getting impatient and kicked over a pile of books in his irritation. How about we try the bedroom?

Slamming open the door and ignoring the loud 'BANG!', he started with the bed. Tugging at his embroidered duvet (that he made himself, by the way), the sheets were thrown aside in his fury.

"I'll have to tidy this up later..." he mumbled to himself, feeling increasingly irate. Moving to the closet, clothes from various decades and centuries old were cast aside. Piles of multi-colored fabric in his wake, Arthur left his quarters in a huff.

Not in the bathroom, guest room, attic, basement, no where!

He sat down in a chair at his dining room table. Glaring at his reflection in the polished oak, something caught his eye. There...what was that?

The former-pirate stood up and whipped around, olive eyes hunting for what he saw in the reflection behind him. On top of the counter, behind the tea pot, was that...?

Gingerly forcing the delicate china aside, he scowled.

"Ms. Fairy...was that _really_ necessary?"

The small creature giggled, soft sparkles fluttering down around her. Arthur scooped her up and set her on his shoulder, glancing to the side. Alright, so she was only playing a prank on him.

"Then, do you know where I put it?" He asked her. Her tiny shoulders went up in a shrug, and he sighed. The Brit didn't want to have to make something else, he was so set on impressing his Japanese friend with this cake! Why was the prized ingredient hiding from him?

On the verge of giving up, he made one more round in the house, checking every nook and cranny. Uncovering an old photo of himself and a young Alfred, his eye twitched and thick brows furrowed.

Finding his way back into the living room, a tasseled cushion from the couch was kicked across the room and he sat down.

Instantly, something generally-round and very hard pressed right against his arse, and Arthur shot up with a yelp. What the bloody hell...

A pineapple sat on the spot he was just in, lying on it's side (which he was thankful for, as having the spiked leaves driven into his backside was too unpleasant a thought).

Wait...a pineapple?

Arthur swiftly picked up the exotic fruit, crying out with glee.

"That's where you've been? Now why were you hiding away from me~?" He chuckled lightly, cradling it in his arms as he carted it off to the kitchen. "As punishment, dear pineapple, I will have to cut you~! Oh, look at you, you know you deserve it."

* * *

Kiku smiled softly, accepting the brightly-colored, oddly-shaped gift from Francis, mumbling out a grateful "Arigato gozaimasu, Bonufoa-san." The Frenchman kissed his round cheek and left the trembling Japanese man with a deep laugh.

"Alright, manky frog, move aside!"

Arthur stepped to meet face-to-face of Kiku, grinning widely.

"I made this cake especially for you! Happy Birthday!"

A silence, followed by rude comments from Francis and Alfred, drifted into the air.

"Euh, c'est degoûtant, Arthur. Tu as fait un...gateau d'anana?"

"Dude, Artie, that's just sick. God, it smells like ass."

Ignoring their protests, he presented his creation proudly.

The Asian stared at what was placed before him. "Is that...th-the yellow rings...pineapple? And...and why is it...the frosting is...vi-violet? Why..."

"Well, since pineapple is this rich golden color, it's complimented by the hues of violet in the frosting! Alfred, you really should be proud of me! I got these decorating techniques from you! Remember that magazine you showed me?"

"Hey man, I sent you that so you'd start making, you know, _good_ food. What is this shit...? It looks awesome, kind of, but..."

Shooting him a glare, Arthur turned back to the party guest. "I guess by your widened eyes and agape mouth, you like it?" He laughs airily. "I'm jealous, honestly, that it's for you! I'd love to receive a cake this beautiful on my birthday!"

"I think it's burned on the...Angleterre? Is this horrid frosting here to cover up the...oh, mon Dieu, I can't even cut into it!"

"Shut your trap, frog. It's a splendid culinary creation and you damned well know it!"

"Ah...ar-arigato g-gozai...masu..."

Swelling with pride, Arthur put his hands on his hips. "In fact, if you find that you like it, Kiku, write me a recommendation! I was thinking of publishing a cookbook of my own lately and any reviews on the recipes would be just jolly fantastic!"

* * *

Dictionary and Translations:

scrummy - delicious, taken from the word "scrumptious"

Twiglets - I think they're a British pretzel-stick brand, something like that

Jelly Babies - really sweet, gummy people-shaped things. Well, I think they're supposed to be people...

Blackcurrant - a type of berry

Barmy - insane

Telly - television set

Arse - ass, of course

"Arigato gozaimasu, Bonufoa-san." - "Thank you very much, Mr. Bonnefoy."

Manky - disgusting

"Euh, c'est degoûtant, Arthur. Tu as fait un...gateau d'anana?" - "Eh, that's disgusting, Arthur. You made a...pineapple cake?"

Angleterre - England

Mon Dieu - My God


End file.
